Quiet Love

In the shadow of warnings

Reminiscent of the Cold War

And hate crimes

That parade the ignorance and small-mindedness

Found in our world today,

My heart quietly

Hopes for a better future

As it embarks upon

The next phase

As part of a lifelong

Loving partnership.

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How not to fall into the cookie cutter trap: Planning our wedding our way

My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years, Michael, proposed to me last Christmas morning. I said yes, accepted a beautiful engagement ring, and started planning in late January.

People ask us questions about the wedding all the time these days: What are your wedding colors? Are you having a bachelorette party? Are you going to have an emcee, DJ, or band? What will your song be?

These are questions that have nothing to do with our wedding. I don’t blame people for asking us these things though; the wedding industry has shaped how Americans think a wedding should be. People have their own expectations.

Questions that do relate to our wedding include: How many cities are you visiting during your trip? Is it ok if I come to more than one celebration? What is your actual wedding date?

We’re going to have a small, private ceremony somewhere on the beach with just our parents, and going out to dinner later that evening. The following day, we’re throwing a big picnic for family, friends, and coworkers in a large park on scenic windward Oahu, complete with a tent if the weather shouldn’t cooperate and caterers serving a big buffet. Later that week, Michael and I depart on a month-long trip that includes ten days in South Africa (that’s our honeymoon), as well as stops in 4 cities in the mainland US and London to see friends and family and take them out for fancy dinners.

We decided early on in our process to focus on what we value for our wedding. We are only including what we want– a focus on delicious food! We will not need a fancy DJ or things in certain ‘colors’. Saving in some areas will enable us to celebrate in many more cities during our epic trip. Keeping it simple for us has meant drawing a line and making sure we stick to our guns.

Stay tuned for future blog posts about:

  • Selecting an affordable venue in Hawaii
  • Budgeting and matching your budget to your priorities
  • Managing others’ expectations for your wedding

If you have specific questions about our wedding planning process, leave a comment down below!

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Me and Michael on Kailua Beach, Oahu

Courage and Caffeine

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I used to take pride in not being dependent on any substance. I never smoked at all, or drank alcohol or caffeine regularly.  I pitied those who became dependent on alcohol to have a good time, or caffeine to be productive.

Fast forward past college, living abroad for a number of years, grad school and nearly 5 years working in my field as a professional. Since starting my full-time job, I drink a cup of coffee more or less every morning. The days when I don’t drink coffee are few and far between, and when I don’t drink it, I miss it.

In part, it’s my routine when I arrive at the office and prepare a cup of hot, fragrant coffee.  I enjoy it as I sort my emails and get my papers in order to tackle my to-do list for the day. Or I step out after checking my email and get some Starbucks coffee from down the street. I enjoy walking with coworkers and catching up during this short excursion.

I like how the caffeine in coffee boosts both my productivity and seemingly, my optimism early in the morning. After my cup of coffee, I can do anything. I can do everything. And I can do it well, early, and under budget. I am invincible and amazing. At least, that’s how I feel with the drug flowing through my veins.

And let’s be real: caffeine is a drug. It is not harmless. Wikipedia has the following to say about it:

“Caffeine is a central nervous system (CNS) stimulant of the methylxanthine class.[10] It is the world’s most widely consumed psychoactive drug. Unlike many other psychoactive substances, it is legal and unregulated in nearly all parts of the world.”  (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caffeine)

Despite its wide usage and popularity, caffeine is still a drug that people use to support their productivity and lifestyles. For me, it’s now a big part of my morning routine both at work and at home.

Do you drink coffee? Does it make you more productive? Are you addicted?

 

Thinking about moving abroad? Read this!

Ever since the presidential election in America picked up steam, many people have joked about moving to Canada if the ‘wrong’ person gets elected.

But seriously, have you thought about living in another country?

For many Americans, a brief vacation overseas or a semester abroad during college is the extent of their time spent outside their native country. As a thirty-something who has lived abroad in Europe and Asia for a total of 6 years, I know what’s necessary to successfully work, study, make friends, and learn to live in a foreign country.  The benefits of living abroad are many and far-reaching, and I want to help others explore the idea of living abroad. We can act as informal ambassadors of our country, building bridges across languages, religions, and cultures.

Last week I published my Guide to Living Abroad on Amazon, which helps you approach living abroad in a holistic way, preparing you to reach your goals and have an enriching time.  The e-book takes you from when you first have the idea, all the way through your return home with useful worksheets and flowcharts as well as anecdotes from my own time abroad.  Some of the ideas covered in the book include:

  • Is moving abroad the right idea for you?  What can you do to prepare?
  • What should you take care of before departing?
  • What things will help ease the transition to your new home?
  • What can you do to align your daily life abroad to your bigger picture goals?
  • How can you ease your transition when you head home?

My e-book is available both for purchase and as a loan through Kindle Unlimited.

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Why not try a new way of life abroad? (Venice, Italy 2016)

 

Thankful for What I Got: November’s Capsule Wardrobe Challenge

Are you a fan of the simplicity/minimalism movement?

Me too.

Are you successful in all your minimalist habits?  I know I still struggle to know what’s worth adding to my closet or home, and what’s not worth purchasing.  But I’m working on keeping my wardrobe to a small, but effective, size.  I’ve been trying to do so for the past few years.  Right now, I believe I have around 35 items in my work wardrobe.

As we celebrate Halloween and don our costumes that we probably won’t wear again, I think this is the perfect time to address the clothing that I have in my normal closet.  Wouldn’t it be great to wear everything I own before re-wearing anything?  This would make my closet an equal opportunity employer.

So my idea is to document each day, starting tomorrow, what I wear and keep track in my closet of what I haven’t worn yet.  As I wear each item, I can make a note of what I think works and what doesn’t anymore, and brainstorm ideas for future item purchases that might be versatile and work with many of the items I already own.

Do you have a capsule wardrobe?  Or do you struggle to find something to wear even though your closet is overflowing?  Maybe a simplified closet would help you to keep only your best clothing and get rid of the rest!

Check out this YouTube video that inspired me to tackle this challenge:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Foqfxo7nMLE  She’s got a different ‘Shop Your Closet’ challenge than me for November, but I think her idea is a great one– use and be grateful for what we already have!

Budgeting to Move Abroad

It was our European vacation in August/September that gave us the itch to move abroad.  No sooner had we returned home after our 3 week trip that we started talking about our next trip, or rather, the idea of moving abroad for a few years.

Being financially able to move abroad is a big consideration before we’re ready.  Some of the things we’d need to pay for include: savings to cover our transition abroad, an emergency fund in case we need to get home fast at any time during our stay, expenses to cover the time we’re finding a job abroad, which should enable us to afford our basic expenses as well as ‘extras’ like regional travel, language classes, covering storage of things we leave at home, or other expenses in our home country.  These are all things that must be accounted for before it makes financial sense to move abroad.

Besides the less fun financial planning and saving, there are the questions of what you’ll do abroad, where, and for how long.  Once you have the main game plan sketched out, you will know how much you need to save up.

These are details that might be easy to figure out, or you might need a lot of discussion and research to iron out the details.  Since it will be both my boyfriend and I moving abroad, along with our two cats, we both need to be included in the decision making and financial preparations.

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Cozy lights shine from shops in Kyoto, Japan (March 2015)

Have you ever thought about moving abroad?  How did you decide where to go, for how long, and how did you afford it?  Let me know in the comments below!

Budget Update: Rolling with the Punches

We returned from our trip to Europe with suitcases full of chocolate.  It’s been really great to share Swedish, Swiss and German goodies with friends and coworkers back here in Hawaii.  We had a wonderful time with my parents and sister and her fiance, and highlights of the trip included spending time on the farm, seeing some larger cities by boat, biking around picturesque Reichenau Island in Lake Constance, and going on an amazing food tour in Venice.

But one thing that hasn’t been the most fun has been dealing with the aftermath of the trip’s effect on my budget.

I think I did very well budgeting and saving for the trip, and overall the expenses we ran up were only over my saved amount by $125.  I’ve decided to devote half of this month’s regular monthly transfer to my travel account to covering this overage, and by the time my second paycheck is deposited, the credit card bill should show up.  So I won’t carry a balance on my credit card, which is great!

The thing I didn’t take into account was the effect my vacation would have on my paycheck.  Because of some rules regarding when my vacation hours can be spent, the hours I earned in August and September couldn’t be used on my vacation that took place in August and September.  So I had to take leave without pay for nearly five days of work!  This means that essentially my first paycheck for this month is 3/4 of what I would normally get.

In order to deal with this sudden lack of income, I decided to not contribute to my travel fund (which had already been reduced to half to cover the trip overages) or my emergency fund for the month.  All my other costs are covered, which is good in terms of feeling secure, but it’s a little disheartening that my goal of fully funding my emergency fund (of 3 months’ worth of living expenses) will be delayed by a month.

For an overview of my budgeting system, see my video and original post on fikaflicka on my one number budget.  How do you budget, both on a regular basis and for a goal such as going on a trip?

 

Original Budget Post