‘I do’… not want to spend a fortune: Planning an affordable wedding

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Plenty of space for party tents, with a gorgeous, natural backdrop of the Koolau Mountains!

It’s way too easy to spend a lot on a wedding. There are plenty of ways that the industry has shaped people’s expectations and offers every type of service and product to help you celebrate. But before the wedding planning ball starts rolling too fast, try to figure out what you want most for your ceremony. Β Write down a few sentences about how you want to feel, and what you value most about your ceremony and reception.

I want to get married close to home so it’s an easy drive for relatives. I want beautiful natural views in the autumn. I want a private, all-inclusive space so I can feel like royalty.

When my fiance and I started talking about getting married just about a year ago, we actually planned the honeymoon first. Since we live in Hawaii, yet have close family members scattered across many regions of the US as well as a few countries in Europe, we thought that visiting them during our honeymoon made a lot of sense. We shaped our trip around the ‘honeymoon’ part (a visit to Cape Town and wildlife safari in South Africa) and numerous stops in Minnesota, Texas, and the Pacific Northwest to see relatives.

In order to be able to afford our elaborate trip, we wanted to save money on our actual ceremony and reception here in Hawaii. Most hotels and venues offer packages in the tens of thousands of dollars, but we thought: why stay inside a ballroom when Hawaii offers so much natural beauty?

Check state parks, county parks, and other natural areas as potential venues. Since my fiance’s coworker was registered to perform weddings in the state of Hawaii, he offered to marry us for free, at a city park near Waikiki. Our parents attended, and our friends took some beautiful photos of us all (again, for free).

As for our reception, we rented a large outdoor tent from a local business and had the event catered for around 100 people. Total cost? $400 for the tent, $2,500 for the food and drinks. We set up a permit for a space at a beautiful county park on the windward side of Oahu, with plenty of parking spots for everyone. The permit was free. Our friend baked us a selection of cakes as her wedding present to us, and everyone raved about the delicious desserts she brought.Β  Do you know anyone with a large yard, garden, or home that might be willing to host a party?Β We asked my friend who has a lovely yard next to a stream if she could host us, but she said that her boyfriend had thought their own wedding could be held there at some point in the future and preferred not to host. Ask around, and maybe you’ll get lucky!

So we made the conscious choice to go for free venues and arranged for friends to help us, and that enabled us to put our money toward our month-long honeymoon. If you and your soon-to-be-spouse are on the same page about what your priorities are, then do your best to stick to your guns to ensure your wedding is what you envisioned.

 

 

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Quiet Love

In the shadow of warnings

Reminiscent of the Cold War

And hate crimes

That parade the ignorance and small-mindedness

Found in our world today,

My heart quietly

Hopes for a better future

As it embarks upon

The next phase

As part of a lifelong

Loving partnership.

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How not to fall into the cookie cutter trap: Planning our wedding our way

My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years, Michael, proposed to me last Christmas morning. I said yes, accepted a beautiful engagement ring, and started planning in late January.

People ask us questions about the wedding all the time these days: What are your wedding colors? Are you having a bachelorette party? Are you going to have an emcee, DJ, or band? What will your song be?

These are questions that have nothing to do with our wedding. I don’t blame people for asking us these things though; the wedding industry has shaped how Americans think a wedding should be. People have their own expectations.

Questions that do relate to our wedding include: How many cities are you visiting during your trip? Is it ok if I come to more than one celebration? What is your actual wedding date?

We’re going to have a small, private ceremony somewhere on the beach with just our parents, and going out to dinner later that evening. The following day, we’re throwing a big picnic for family, friends, and coworkers in a large park on scenic windward Oahu, complete with a tent if the weather shouldn’t cooperate and caterers serving a big buffet. Later that week, Michael and I depart on a month-long trip that includes ten days in South Africa (that’s our honeymoon), as well as stops in 4 cities in the mainland US and London to see friends and family and take them out for fancy dinners.

We decided early on in our process to focus on what we value for our wedding. We are only including what we want– a focus on delicious food! We will not need a fancy DJ or things in certain ‘colors’. Saving in some areas will enable us to celebrate in many more cities during our epic trip. Keeping it simple for us has meant drawing a line and making sure we stick to our guns.

Stay tuned for future blog posts about:

  • Selecting an affordable venue in Hawaii
  • Budgeting and matching your budget to your priorities
  • Managing others’ expectations for your wedding

If you have specific questions about our wedding planning process, leave a comment down below!

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Me and Michael on Kailua Beach, Oahu